Being Your "Whole-Self"

"Just be yourself!" is such a common piece of advice yet it can feel empty and meaningless. It doesn’t give you any more clarity on what to do and you feel this internal conflict when you hear it. You doubt yourself about what steps to take in any situation where this adage gets thrown around.

Why? Because at any given moment, the experiences you’ve had up to that point, the beliefs you accept to be true, and the values that are instilled in you drive how you show up. All of these assumptions and rules about life that you walk around with are what my coaching instructor called your “who-ville” and many times you accept this who-ville without question or self-reflection.

Your who-ville determines what the voice in your head tells you when presented with any challenge - big or small - and how that voice makes you feel. Ultimately, these thoughts and feelings drive how you respond and determine your energetic capacity to take action.

So this common adage of, "just be yourself!" feels like a platitude that leaves you feeling more lost because you are being yourself. Right now, being yourself is exactly what is causing these feelings of anxiety to begin with. Your inner voice is in control and you don’t know how to challenge it or unlock your full energetic capacity.

That inner voice fills your head with doubt causing you to default to assumptions and beliefs that you may not even be aware of or know where they came from in the first place. Fear feeds off of these thoughts caused by external restrictions and anxiety thrives. These feelings lead to how you act, or in this case don’t act, perpetuating the negative spiral of self-doubt.

The good news? You can redefine your who-ville. You can purposefully design your life to not just, "be yourself", but to be your "whole-self". To be the true, authentic, one-time-in-history person that you choose to be.

To be your whole-self you need to challenge your who-ville. You need to raise your awareness and choose your core beliefs and values - not simply accept the ones you inherited from your past without even thinking about it. You get to pick values and metrics that work for you, not against you.

When you are being your whole-self, the actions of your everyday life are in sync with your new chosen rules of life. You take on life with confidence and energy you never thought possible because you’ve defined what is truly valuable to you.

If you put in the effort and take the time to truly understand yourself, choose what your rules for life and most important values are, and if you decide to take full responsibility for your life, you will start to feel the conflict, fear, and anxiety start to dissipate.

You will be in tune with your intuition and be able to consciously decide what actions you want to take. You will have a voice in your head that encourages you instead of holds you back. It will support you in building a life that aligns with your core purpose as you define it. 

And the next time you hear the advice to just be yourself, instead of it making you feel even more stuck you will be propelled forward. You will be confident in your choices because you now know what it means to be your whole-self and you will know what actions to take because they will align with your chosen values.

This is not an easy journey. It is not something you do once and are changed forever. It is something you work towards every day.

Let me tell you though: the effort is so worth it. Because when you reach the point where you don't feel that internal conflict and when you have control over that voice in your head, you are finally free to be unapologetically who you choose to be. You experience a level of confidence, comfort, and success you never thought possible. You allow the world the gift that is you being your whole-self.

If you want help getting started, reach out today to start working towards a life you never thought possible.