Elevate Yourself to Elevate Others

The power of balancing compassion with self-care

At any given moment, we’re all emitting energy that influences not only how we feel but also the world around us. As we go through our days, the events that transpire and the energy we absorb from others often mirrors the energy within us. When we’re in a positive state, everything seems to flow effortlessly, but when we’re stressed or drained, that energy tends to reflect back as obstacles or frustration. The key to unlocking what you truly want in life starts with identifying and clearing the inner blockages that prevent you from accessing your highest energy, and, ultimately, your full potential.

This may all sound very theoretical and even a bit “woo-woo,” but let’s get concrete and take a specific example, a specific archetype of person that strikes home with my own experience to see how this plays out in reality. 

A little while back, I felt completely stuck and was operating at low energy levels that were affecting every facet of my life. I wasn’t pursuing anything that excited me and I felt like I was coasting — lethargic and drained. When at low-energy frequencies, you know you’re stuck and you could do better, but it’s hard to break out of it, and ultimately, it starts to affect everything around you too: Friends, family, work, etc. That’s the spot I found myself in.

I realized it was coming from a dichotomy within myself: Opposing forces that I didn’t quite learn yet how to make coexist to my benefit.

My core strength is compassion and taking care of others, which is actually coming from a place of high, sustainable, and expansive energy (called “anabolic” energy). Being in service to others and having sincere empathy for them elevates your frequency and is on the road to where you want to be. However, the common problem with this superpower, and what I experienced myself, is that people who have this type of personality tend to not focus on what they want and what’s best for them for the sake of others, which leads to low, lethargic, and victimhood energy (“catabolic” energy). 

I’m sure you know someone just like this if it’s not you yourself. And of course, there are varying degrees of this, but I bet that you’ve felt at times that your focus on others and how they feel comes at the sacrifice of what you need and want.

I realized that this dynamic within myself was really holding me back for a long time: I put so much emphasis on being a good dad and husband and taking care of others that I completely neglected my own needs and passions.

It really came to a head when I first considered starting my coaching business. I was worried about how the leap might impact my family: Would their quality of life change with a different salary? Would they resent me for doing this? 

My superpower — compassion and the desire to be a good husband and father — was ironically becoming a curse, suppressing my energy levels and propelling me into paralyzing inaction when offered the chance to pursue something meaningful for myself. 

The low-energy was becoming unsustainable and bleeding into all facets of my life, ultimately also creating a cap to how much I could actually take care of the ones I thought I was sacrificing for and ultimately causing frustration on their end.

The irony of this situation suddenly became abundantly clear to me: The resentment or discontent amongst my family would actually come from me not doing what I’m passionate about. If I continued down the road of suppressing myself and going along with what was comfortable to me in the name of not wanting to rock the boat for others, it would actually lead me directly towards what I feared. If I wasn’t in a good place, there’s no way I could help anyone else to the best of my ability, and it would be draining for them to be around me too.

Finally, I mustered up the courage to break through these self-imposed binds, and took the step to communicate and work toward fulfilling my own needs. Once I started taking action towards starting my coaching business and pursuing other side projects and hobbies that interest me, I felt myself much less often sinking into those low-energy levels of being lost and frustrated, and started elevating to ever-higher levels. 

I felt myself being able to fully show up for my family even better than before and the entire dynamic improving. Once I was happy with myself, once I was living in a more aligned way to what I value and what I need, it allowed me to give from an even stronger and more fruitful place.

I learned that I can leverage my strength of doing for others to help justify doing for myself, which ultimately led to a win-win for all involved. I’m a better husband, father, and friend, and just generally better to be around because I feel better about myself — all while fulfilling my own aspirations. I didn’t have to sacrifice either side. Both elevated simultaneously.

Finding this balance can be difficult and very counterintuitive to people with high empathy, but once you actively take steps towards achieving this balance, the entire energy of your whole life takes on a whole new stratosphere, and that energy is contagious and goes on to emanate and mold the world you step into each day.

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If you find yourself in a similar situation of feeling drained or constantly sacrificing your own needs for others, here are a few quick steps you can take to strike this balance:

1. Be aware of your current energy state, and how it fluctuates during the day/week/month: Simply take note of where you are operating from, and if you feel energized and limitless or stuck and apathetic or somewhere in-between. Recognize when it changes and what is influencing it.

2. Use compassion to set boundaries: Remember, to serve others effectively, you must first serve yourself. This might mean saying “no” to things that drain your energy, even if it feels uncomfortable. It's not selfish — it's necessary for your well-being.

3. Take aligned action: Take one small step towards doing things that speak to you, whether that’s a long-ignored hobby, a friendship, a side project, or simply just taking some relaxation time for yourself.

4. Communicate and be honest: If needed, communicate with those close to you about what you need and your new focus on finding a balance that allows you to show up fully. Explain the win-win, and then realize the win-win together.

Reach out for a free consultation and we can explore together how to put these tips into action and to help you elevate yourself to ever-higher energy levels.