Stop Holding Yourself Back

Rewriting your mental narratives and conquering limiting beliefs

We all have a script playing in our minds 24/7 about who we are, whether we’re conscious of it or not. These ongoing narratives facilitate our behaviors and how we think about ourselves, becoming the invisible framework for how we move through the world. Here’s the thing though: Most of these narratives have no basis in reality and oftentimes they constrain you within their seemingly tight bonds — disallowing you from reaching the life you desire or the level of fulfillment you deserve.

These beliefs typically come from past life experiences, insecurities, or just straight up fantasies that the relentless voice in your head conjured up against your will and that you accept as fact. Or you might have no clue where some of the ideas you have about yourself came from at all, but they’re there, and they’re powerful. 

Not all, but many of these beliefs tend to be negative and don’t serve you. They’re keeping you within a box that you’ve created for yourself. These could look something like: “I don’t deserve success.” Which might lead you to procrastinate on important projects because, deep down, you don’t think you’re worthy of a good result. 

“I’m too old to take that risk — it’s too late to change.” Which may lead you to never take the leap to start that business idea you have or to make a big career switch because you’ve convinced yourself that it’s too late on some imaginary timeline.

The trickiest part about these mental stories is that they can get etched-in to your psyche further and further the more you repeat them in your head or in your speech or when external events reinforce them (“See, I told you that you weren’t able to have a healthy relationship!” you might tell yourself after a breakup).

Becoming aware of these self-limiting beliefs that are lurking in your consciousness, identifying them, and then re-writing them is truly a life-changing practice. As Denis Waitley wisely stated, “It's not what we are that holds us back, it's what we think we're not.”

It’s a difficult practice, but once you rewrite your own narratives to be filled with words that serve you rather than limit you, that uplift you rather than drag you down, that create a sense of boundless opportunity rather than constriction, you’ll eventually be behaving in a way and accomplishing things that you previously thought were impossible.

That surprise in yourself when you betray a narrative that has been with you for years or even decades is truly an exhilarating and powerful experience.

First, take notice: You might be verbalizing these self-limiting beliefs about yourself regularly without even realizing it. Once you notice, stop saying it. Don’t further dig down into that mental pathway. If you’re not verbalizing, notice the thoughts in your head and the stories you tell yourself on a day-to-day basis.

When you’ve identified the pesky ones that you feel are holding you back, write them down. Visualizing them makes them less powerful and sometimes might make them seem outright ridiculous when you actually see it in writing.

Then, re-write those sentences, literally and in your mind, into beliefs that positively serve you and expand you. “I’m not good at meeting new people” turns into “I’m a friendly and interesting person who knows how to connect with others. Walking up to someone and striking up a conversation is easy and I have nothing to lose.”

Next, reinforce these new narratives with action. Just as the negative ones become more real the more you say and experience them, the same goes for the positive ones. Act the way someone with that belief and reality would act. Or, to put it more colloquially: “Fake it til you make it.” A saying that has far more power and significance than the casual implications may suggest. 

It’ll take time and effort. Whenever you find the old narratives coming through your mind or out of your mouth, consciously stop it and repeat the new narrative. When presented with a relevant situation, push yourself to take the action that reinforces the new belief, rather than the old. It will be uncomfortable at first, but then become natural the more you do it. Prove your old self wrong. It’s actually fun when you do — it feels like you unlocked new superpowers.

Stop letting the same old stories hold you back. Let’s rewrite your narrative together, so that you can break free from your own mental prison and become the person you’re truly capable of being.